vertigo

so i feel like i did when i was a kid and i had to sit at the table for hours until i ate my liver. hours. liver. just writing that makes me feel a bit nauseated. hours. homework. that is what i have. and i sit here. and i wait. hoping that it will get better. and magically become done. maybe if i put sweatpants on that will help. maybe if i check my email one more time. maybe if i stop writing in my blog. just one more word.
pants.

mary

mary
Originally uploaded by gretaseacat.

i just love this picture. i also love how when i was lying on the sidewalk taking pictures a car stopped and a man yelled out "are you okay?" and i scooched up on my elbows as i turned and looked at him and said "just taking pictures" what else would i be doing laying on the sidewalk...

or just crazy?

having a laptop in the "dining room" is sweet! except for when you burn your banana pancakes.
is it synthesis when you open the cupboard to find a glass to pour your orangina in and you pick the blue one because it's a complementary color? or have i lost my mind irrevocably?

get your own tots

am listening to the sound of the furnace rumbling in the wall. well, on the other side of the wall anyway. stupid me, i procrastinated on my homework last week and ended up staying up on wednesday night until 2:30 am thursday and then i had to get up about 3 hours later to get to the 8am class in which the aforementioned homework was intended for. (p.s. i was freaking out and wanting to cry and yell, but mary was sleeping so i couldn't, because i kept messing everything up and i was tired and i don't have a stupid desk to work at, i was using a dinky coffe table and i had to mix like 2o different shades of gouache paint and match values in my red/chromatic piece and my gray/achromatic peice and i had the cutting board on the couch and paper and paint and water everywhere and i got fingerprints in my paint and smears of red and glue and mess and i was so embarassed to turn it in and the only thing i liked about it was my design, but the craftsmanship sucked in my opinion, but of course when we had our critiques mine was one of the better projects and i got an "a-" which i was pleasantly surprised about and made it a little better that i missed out on like 6 hours of sleep) then i was at school until 7pm that day and got home around 7:30 or so and i was just going to take a little nap, i woke up at 12:30am very hot and thirsty and groggy and disoriented. i got a drink of water and read a little c.s. lewis and tried to go back to sleep so i could wake up at 6:30am and so today i felt like i had severe jet lag and i had to force myself to stay up until at least now (10pm) because i really could have gone to bed at 7 again, and then i would be screwed up for like, infinity. so there. that means this weekend i really shouldn't do anything but homework so that i don't have this problem again. but there's a cool house party with bands and djs at alec's house... sometimes i wish my phone would just ring. and sometimes not.

pornography

is the truth pretty much always offensive?

therefore i am

mmm i love tea. is good. very good. love new friends. am so impatient. have been putting off homework for 6-8 hours today. what is wrong with me? have gotten laundry done. almost. i miss my old friends in walla walla. a lot. am learning about philosophy. i think. not sure what else. guess i will really finish laundry now.

twisty

am taking many new classes. five, in fact. is a new term, in fact. was wanting to quit last week. not so sure this week. have an internship. hoooooray! am assistant editor for excellent documentary. well, it will be when it's done. am tutoring my sis. am making jewelry. when will i make blockbuster movie? never. will be indie queen. or emo-star. am currently trying to write emo songs. am inspired by beck-like ex-teacher. will be friends one day. am crushing on cute boys. boys. boys. am irritated with boys. cute, flirty boys.
classes are; pre-college math = i don't speak the language storyboarding = drawing is torturous, but have a lovely teacher argumentation and research = will kick my behind, very much color theory = will be interesting, not sure yet intro to video = i love, love, love, love, love, co!
the end.