tea & crumpets

writing,
it feels so unnatural
but why?
i have so many words
they stumble as they tumble
from my mind to the page

i don't want to disappoint
but i will
over
&
over
again

will you still love me anyway?

open

i've lost the words i don't know i ever had

surging from inside

escape non-existent

such desire

unfulfilled

breathlessness

ache

just to be known

to know

electromagnetic

this is the time. oh, yes.
i don't know for what or for who

gone

explosive
corrosive
volatile

everything is wrong

nothing fits
too big, too small
can't get it right
it hurts to hold on, i'm oh so broken
ready for the fall, but i can't let go
it's time, oh lord it's time

stop

stop stopping
taking two steps forward
then disappearing

i know you don't know what i mean
and i'm sorry.
and i miss you when you're not around.

and i wish things were oh so different,
but then maybe they'd be worse instead of better

i don't know what to do besides wait
tired.
oh.
so.
tired and scared.

please come find me
and tell me that i'm wrong

that you do care
that you miss me too.
that...

i want to want to forget.
i want to want to stop
but i don't

stop.

troubles

ha!
i caught you
looking
now stay here with me.